Friday Favorites #11

This has been a tough week. Like I wanted to dig a big 'ol hole...and hide in it. Put a rock on top...and forget that I was even there. But I made it. Somehow. And I'm looking forward to this coming week, to be a bit more relaxing. Not so adventurous. Maybe a bit more peaceful. Let's get started with this week's Friday Favorites....

Excuse the bags under my eyes. I have not been sleeping well. For at least 2 weeks now. But it's March. We're over half over with the month. I still can't believe that! But over on our Love For Blue Instagram page, we're rocking the blue! All month. If you'd like to join in posting your blue pictures, on you favorite social media...please tag them with #LoveForBlue #BlueForBlue and #BlueDays.

In case you are new around here, my Dad battled colon cancer. And sadly, lost his battle...nearly 3 years ago. I still can't believe he is gone. But we have a 3 year old foundation that my Dad started, shortly before his death. It's a way to remember him. And continue his work.

Last week, my Nanie (Grandma) became an angel. On Friday, we celebrated her life...with a viewing. Gosh, I'm going to miss this beautiful lady. All her stories. Her wisdom. And her CRAZY jokes!

After my Nanie's viewing, we had a few errands to run. Before her services the next day. After picking up some last minute things, we stopped for a late dinner. At Panda Express. We always get the Big Plate. And a side of fried rice. My Mom and I share it all! It was yummy. Even if I had to stay clear of the beef. Do you give up meat on Fridays too?

So on Friday afternoon, I started this doll. I had dreamt of it, the night before. Pretty much, in one afternoon, I had all the parts made. And Friday night, I stood up, to finish her. Basically, sew her together. And put on her hair.

Now I've made many dolls. In case you are interested, you can find some of my work on our Craft Blog and on our Instagram page. Anyway, it usually takes awhile. Like I spend a few hours putting on the hair. Making my dolls, turn into fun little people. But this doll was so easy to make! My Nanie always told me, if it was meant to be, it will be. 

I couldn't sleep really well on Friday night. So after my Mom went to bed, I finished up this doll. And I kept thinking of my Nanie. I decided to place it in her casket. It just seemed appropriate. Being that she taught me how to crochet. And she always loved the toys I made. So I sent it with her. Along with a note. I just feel, like you should send your loved ones away...with a little something special.

Something I may not have mentioned is...my grandparents wanted their granddaughters to be their pallbearers. What an honor. To get to carry our grandparents to their final resting place. 

And while this was not necessarily a favorite thing of mine. It was truly an honor. It's been just over 4 years, since my Tatie (Grandpa) past on. And on Saturday, we laid my sweet Nanie to rest.

The women in our family, are such strong people. We owe it all, to our grandparents. Yes, we all have parents. But our grandparents instilled wise lessons, manners, strength, faith, and so much more...in us. They wanted us to be strong women. And boy, am I happy to be included in this bunch of women! In case you are wondering, my big littlest sis, is the 4th from the left. :)

It's so hard to admit, that we don't see each other much. But on this day, my Mom, her brothers, and sisters got to be close. And they were able to hold on to each other, on a very tough day. And just in case you were wondering about all the red...it was my Nanie's favorite color! We don't usually wear red to funerals.

It's crazy how life continues to move forward. Whether or not, you are ready for it. We got a bag, with a few things we had given my Nanie. And this picture was in it. I can still remember taking this picture. I was in college. And had come home, for this special occasion.

We actually took a large family picture. Which I never got! The photography shop, never gave us our print. What can you do? But each one of my grandparent's kids, with their family, also got to take some pictures. We did one with just us grandkids too. Awesome memories!

But this picture here, I gave it to my Nanie, right after my Tatie died. And with all her moves, she always took it with her. I was getting ready for Church on Sunday morning. I just had to stop and look at it. I can't believe 3 out of the 5 of us, are now angels...

After Church we headed home, for breakfast. Originally, we had been scheduled to sell at Church. For a Craft Sale. But with everything going on, we took the day off. And made it a pretty lazy day.

That included leftovers. My cousins, on the other side of my family, generously did all the cooking for my Nanie's funeral. And they setup and cleaned up the entire reception for us. They are such a blessing. I've always looked at them...as the sisters and brother, that God intended for me. :) Anyone remember the entire family, waiting with me for the bus? That stopped in front of the house.

Anyway, they are amazing cooks! And we ended up taking a bit of food home. So Sunday morning, my Mom fried up a couple of eggs. Because we all know, I can't make a fried egg. And we had the yummiest red enchiladas! So cheesy. Just like I like them!

If you follow me on Insta, then you have probably seen this product. On Sunday night's I've been trying to do a #SelfCareSunday. Basically, I take time for me. I've managed to do this, every Sunday in 2018. Except last week. When we were with my Nanie.

But this has to be my favorite mask. It's a sheet mask. And it's so relaxing to take a long bath. Then lay down, with this on my face. Catching up, with my favorite YouTubers.

In case you are interested, I get these at Walmart. I want to say that they are $2-3 each. It's basically a sheet, about the thickness of a baby wipe. And it is soaked in the most moisturizing liquid. I have a whole basket of masks. That a friend sent me. But this one, is my favorite.

Another disease, that we like to highlight for our foundation is Epilepsy. My Dad had epilepsy, for over 60 years! He was very embarrassed of this disease. Something that he had almost no control over.

Honestly, he did a pretty good job, controlling it. My Dad went to the doctor once a month. Every month of my life. To have his medication levels checked. He took his medication, twice a day. Every single day. Medicine that helped control his seizures.

Since I was little, I learned how to take care of my Dad. He taught me, when I was about 5 years old...how to put the car into neutral. Just in case. I learned real quick, what to do...when my Dad had a seizure. Call my Mom or Grandma. Lay him on his side. Hold his head. And as I got older, I could care for my Dad, by myself.

It was a tough disease. My Dad would joke with me..."It took my teeth. At times, it takes my dignity. But it will never keep me down."

My Dad lived a pretty normal life. He would have an "episode" about once a year. Two seizures in a day. One in the morning. One in the late afternoon/evening. In the last few years of his life...the seizures changed a bit. But it was more due, to his cancer. Than the epilepsy itself.

Every Monday, we wear purple for epilepsy. It was a disease, that my Dad learned how to live with. We, as his family, learned to live with it too. It wasn't a death sentence. You can join us in wearing purple too. Just tag your pics with #LoveForBlue #PurpleMondays #EpilepsyAwareness

I want people to know, you shouldn't be ashamed, if you have seizures. My Dad was lucky. His disease was pretty well managed. He was able to drive. Medication kept him pretty healthy. Life was pretty normal.

But I know, many people have a hard time. Epilepsy and seizures have such a huge range. In our family, we have a few family members...who battle this disease. Every case is different. Every person, has a different treatment. But they all, live a pretty normal life.

Earlier this week, Sweetheart and I had to run to the store real quick. And we picked up a pizza, for dinner. While sitting at a light, I was just so amazed with the sky!

It just amazes me, how life keeps on. With or without you, the sun still rises and sets. The birds chirp. People still buzz around. 

And in that moment, I had to just stop. And breathe. How glorious is this earth, that we live on. Some weeks, just feel so tough. And impossible. Then God sends you a message, in a beautiful sunset. To remind you, he's on your side!

Remember how I mentioned, struggling with sleep lately? Well, that lead to me finding a new TV show to watch. The Animal Planet's The Zoo. I got so hooked on Tuesday night, that I watched until 4AM Wednesday morning!

It all started with an episode about a flamingo. Who had to have surgery on it's leg! Flamingos are my favorite! So I watched a handful of episodes. And was thoroughly sad, when I couldn't find another episode to watch.

I just know, my Mom is going to be hooked too! It's a behind-the-scenes view, of the Bronx Zoo. Super interesting. I'll admit it here...I cried when an animal died. I think it would be a great show, for all ages! You get to see how the animals are cared for, trained, and what it takes, to really make the Zoo run.

Like I said, it has been a tough week. With tough relationships. And circumstances. When you really begin, to realize...just how strong you are. How each one of those rocks people throw your way, can be something positive too. This quotes sums all of that up, for me. Turn the negatives, into positives.

Wednesday we had another funeral to go to. What a week! But again, it was a good excuse to spend time with family. It really does make me sad, that it takes this kind of event, to bring us together.

But it allowed my Mom and I, to spend time with family. Family we don't see often. Friends that have turned into family. And it made the weight of all these losses, feel a little more bearable. Nothing like laughter, to make that happen!

But in this picture, post funeral, I really wanted to share my jewelry. I owe my love of Native American jewelry to my Nanie. And while I have some really nice pieces, this set just made me smile. My Mom gave it to me for Christmas. And I just love it!

I almost died, while driving home. I realized one earring was missing. And while I was on a race to make it home...I needed the restroom...my heart stopped. I mean, there were countless places in the cemetery where it could have been. We had been to two cemeteries that day! Or at the reception hall. Who knows where?

When we got home, I found it. In the seat of the car. Thank God! I know this set will be on a regular rotation, in my wardrobe. But I need to get some earring backs, before I wear it again. I don't want to lose an earring.

I've also been trying to decorate for every holiday. We have the decorations. I just have been unmotivated. So for New Year's it was one of those things, I put on my list for 2018.

I'm not back to my normal Holiday Spirit. But I'm trying. This shelf in our living room, I think of it as my area to rotate decor. Sorta like someone's mantel. I did a little decorating earlier this week. Added some lights, a sign, and some gold touches.

I also managed to decorate our dining room table. Change out all the linens. Added our St. Patty's day kitchen towels. The other places I added some green touches, are to a buffet in our living room, our coffee table, and my bathroom counter. Nothing too crazy. Just some green vases, pretty spring flowers, and a couple of gold accessories.

The Easter decor, is waiting. Some lambs, crosses, and fun bunnies. I'll probably change that out, on Sunday. The holidays are all jammed together this year. But I'm trying. 

Not long ago, our house would have looked like Hobby Lobby, Hallmark, and Gordman's had all exploded on it. But over the last 2 or 3 years...I just sorta lost that spark. I'm calling this a success.

Lastly, I have this quote. I talked to a friend late last week. A long time, family friend. Really I can almost call her a second mom. And she was helping me, to put things into perspective. 

We don't have to pull people along with us. In our lives. We don't need the negativity or the drama. We need to focus on what's important. Who is important. And why all these things are important.

I think when a family suffers a loss, it makes you rethink so much. Relationships. The daily. What you really want in your life. And who you want. You are not obligated, to tug everyone along...on your journey. And sometimes, it's so important to make those breaks.

Just make a quick, clean break. It hurts less. Eventually, if those people were meant to be in your life, they'll find their way back. If not, you'll find new people, to fill that space. 

Life is full of unpleasant things, experiences, and people. But you shouldn't sit and focus on that. You should focus on the positive. As much as we want all of our family, in our lives, sometimes it's not what is best for us.

That's it...for this week! It's been a tough one. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining. I look forward to a much calmer week. We have a fun birthday party tomorrow afternoon. And I'm excited for that! For once, the presents are made, bought, and wrapped up!

I'm also excited to do some "Sweet Making," for our Church Family today. I have some St. Patty's day desserts in mind. And I know, our Fish Dinner will be fun! I just love, hanging out at Church! See you next week!

XOXO,

Desiree

My Nanie, My Hero

Today, I have a new Angel in Heaven. And I call her Nanie. She is my Grandma. The strongest woman, I will ever have the privilege of knowing. She was strong, loving, and such a big spirit!

Nearly 15 years ago, we almost lost my Nanie. But she fought through it. Went through rehab. And somehow, by the grace of God alone, came through. These nearly 15 years, have been a true blessing. And a gift from above. 

The last few days, have felt like this. It's been tough. When you are watching your loved one, cross over to the next life. You know, there will be a party in Heaven. But here, on Earth, you feel broken. You are walking in a daze. Because they will no longer be with you. 

I sit here, and think of so many things. It always feels like, there wasn't enough time. I always hurt, to know my children will not know my Nanie. She is my Grandma, my Nina, and my best friend. Over the years, our relationship has grown. And changed. She has understood, when our visits got more sporadic, as I took care of my Dad. And now my Mom. But she is the rock...that built me. 

I have so many warm memories, of this beautiful lady. She was always my rock, she gave me wings to fly, and allowed me to make so many memories during my childhood. There was no end, to the amount of adventures, that my Nanie would take me on. Even if it was only, to pick up the mail. She made it all so much fun.

And as a kid, you think your Grandma is already magical. But my Nanie, truly made my childhood, one to remember. And celebrate. I didn't realize it, until I was an adult. And moved away. I thought all kids had awesome grandparents. But what I realized in those early years of adulthood was, I was truly blessed. 

My grandparents didn't have tons of money, to blow on their gigantic family. But they had love. Like no other. My earliest memories, are of this amazingly wonderful lady. When I was 3 years old, I wanted to do everything that my Nanie did. Crochet, embroider, sew, cook, the laundry! And you know what, she taught me.

When I was 3, she gave me a crochet hook, and a ball of yarn. I still remember sitting in the front of their house, in Gallup. I'd work so hard on my chain. And my Nanie was crocheting 90 MPH, on her latest bedspread. When I finished my yarn, we wrapped the house 3 times, with my chain. Nanie realized, I needed to learn more. So she taught me to make the corner to corner blanket...to make my baby dolls little blankets.

When no other normal person would let a child sew, my grandma set up some phone books on a chair. She showed me how to sew. I controlled the fabric and everything on top of the table...she worked on the pedal. I thought it was just pure magic! As a child, how could I not? Because my Nanie, was like a real life Fairy Godmother.

Everything was fun. Laundry was an absolute blast. Even if we had to boil water on the stove, connect the hose, and fill up that old machine. It was the kind that you'd practically wash the laundry for the machine. You'd even have to send the clothes, through the big old wringers. Looking back, that was pure love. The amount of time it took to wash our clothes. Even if Nanie bleached my precious Day-of-the-Week panties. I mean, she did wash them. And she even asked, if I wanted her to embroider the days back on. :)

My Nanie showed us, how to be resilient. How to roll with the punches. That life isn't always picture perfect. But there are perfect moments, in those tough times. My Nanie taught me, how to make the most mundane chores...a ball of fun!

Hands down, when we talk about my Nanie, everyone remembers her cooking. It's the part of her...that I've missed most, since her accident 15 years ago. Yes, she has done some cooking since. But it hasn't been the same...

When my grandparents moved to the mountains, I think I was about 5 years old. And my weekends with them, would turn into weeks...and eventually months in the Summer. During which, we'd wreck the kitchen, 3 times a day!

There should not be a single grandchild of Betty's that doesn't know how to make tortillas. Like instant magic, she was our teacher. There were so many times, that I remember her tying a dish towel around me, and hankerchief in my hair, and setting me up. 

My Nanie would bring out her big 'ol bowls, let me pour all the ingredients in, and let me literally get elbow deep to mix it all up! It was the best. Sure there was flour all over the floor, table, and myself. But we were making tortillas. And memories. After we'd mix up that masa, we'd start rolling. 

My Nanie could out roll, anyone! Probably even a machine. We'd roll about a dozen. And then we'd head to the wood stove. I don't know many people, in fact other than my Nanie...no one, that would allow a 5 year old to stand at a wood stove. To cook tortillas. She was never afraid that I'd burn myself. Or that something tragic could happen. She was just wanting to teach me.

She'd pull out this little foot stool. Something that was intended to rest your feet on, when you're sitting on a chair. It was literally held together with duct tape. But Nanie would put it right in front of the stove. And we'd cook tortillas. Now while some of my cousins might get a spatula of some sort to turn the tortillas...she insisted that I do it with my fingers. I learned real quick...that stove got real hot. But I learned. And after a nice stack was cooked, I got to sit at the table and eat one. Covered in butter. Amazed that my mis-shapened tortilla tasted so darn good!

That's the thing with my Nanie, she wanted to teach. I have so many memories of her in the kitchen. All that yummy food. All the lessons she taught. All the memories we made. She never got angry with me. We ALWAYS made a mess! And by a mess, I mean the kitchen looked like a tornado hit it! I learned the secret to her chocolate cake. And could easily eat an entire pot of her chop-suey.

When I moved to my home, my grandparents were eager to visit me. We probably didn't time it well. We went in the dead of Summer, to the middle of the dessert, with no AC. My Nanie, loved every single second of it!

From the second they got there, she was walking up and down my street. Meeting my neighbors, inviting them to dinner, loving my porches. That night, we cooked up a storm. And had about 20 people over for dinner. People, that I'm embarrassed to admit, I was just meeting for the first time.

Because that was my Nanie. The lady that had so many friends. She made friends with just about anyone she'd meet. It didn't matter if you worked at the Gas Station, Blimpies, were the cashier at Walmart, delivered the newspaper, delivered gas...she made friends everywhere!

I think of all the lessons that she taught me. How single handedly, she made me into the woman that I am today. My Nanie used every single experience, to teach a lesson. Days at the lake, were used for story time. Nanie taught me to fish. And she paid me, to dig up worms...and put them on the hooks. It was the one thing, she really didn't like to do.

We'd sit for hours and hours. She'd teach me to sing her favorite spanish songs, and her favorite religious music. We'd read the spanish newspaper together. And she would teach me all about life. It's a miracle, that we caught fish!

Afternoons were spent on the porch. Dancing, especially to her beloved polkas, around the big 'ol deck. We'd sing. And I owe her everything, when it comes to my grito. We practiced that, for years! In later years, my Nanie and I would play poker or darts. As bad as we both were, she taught me that. There was more laughing, than there was playing. But there was always a good time!

At 5PM on the dot, dinner was served. Not a word was said. Because my grandparents watched the news. Big 'ol flowers sitting in the middle of that table. So they couldn't see each other eat. My Nanie ate so fast. And my Tatie so slow. But dinner was never late. Neither was lunch...12 o'clock on the dot. With Paul Harvey on the radio.

After we'd do the dishes...and I was probably covered in the dishwater, it was time to relax. Usually with crafts. My Nanie was ALWAYS working on something. And she was ALWAYS teaching me something. Liquid embroidery, a new crochet pattern, painted desserts...always something new and exciting. Those wire dogs, were my favorite!

And she always managed a lesson. How to make learning fun. Without realizing you were learning. She taught so many math lessons. Lessons about music, how to write properly, spelling. Heck, she even made experation dates fun!

Dressing up, was so much fun! My Nanie had these HUGE closets. With clothes that went all the way back, to the 1950s. I'd spend a good amount of time, digging through those clothes, and sitting in front of her mirror closet doors. 

For hours upon hours, I would dress up. And after I had found my most perfect outfit, I'd head to her bathroom. Where she would set out the makeup I could play with. And her mousse and hair gel. My Nanie would always paint my nails, some sort of bright red. 

And when I was all done, high heels, jewels, and some sort of hat later...I'd make it outside. Where my Nanie would sneak out Tatie's polaroid camera. And we'd have some sort of photo shoot. Right there, under the pinon trees. Geese, dogs, and a turkey...sneaking around the background. Heck, even the Outhouse could be seen in some of our most glamorus shots!

But night time, was always my favorite! After baths, and cleaning up whatever mess we had made, and giving Tatie good night kisses...it was our time. We'd head to bed. And my Nanie would rub my head as we laid in bed.

She'd tell me so many stories. Of her life. At the time, I didn't always realize, it was about her life. That's how fun the stories were. About chasing sheep, eating goat's brain on tortillas, about babies who'd died, crazy kitchen disasters, and movie sets.

My Nanie would tell me about relatives who had past on, when she'd first met my Daddy, and when her and Tatie had gotten married. I'd also get spanish lessons. And stories about my Momma when she was little.

As you can tell by that smirk, she had quite the spirit! Not all my memories are great, but they are memorable! There was that time, when Nanie almost killed us. She fell asleep smoking a cigarette. And she dropped it on the polyester blanket. That immediately lit up. I jumped out the window, ran across the deck, and pounded on my Tatie's bedroom window.

He woke up, threw open the Heater Room door, as I yelled that Nanie was on fire. And the two of us, ran down the hall. Where we found my Nanie, trying to stomp out the fire. How we didn't get burned...I will never know. Or how we didn't start the house on fire...I'm not sure.

But those 3 blankets, were a melted mess! The house stunk. And my Tatie, wouldn't let me sleep with Nanie, for about 6 months. I was little. Not sure how old. Definitely in elementary school. That right there, scared me to death! But it was a good lesson. And you know what, I never once have thought about smoking in my life!

From what I hear, I missed the Wild Days of my Nanie. My 2 cousins and I, were born after Nanie's drinking days. But our Grandma was still pretty wild. And her little red Escort, provided some great fun for us all!

I still remember that time, we decided to go on a drive. Nanie, my 2 cousins, me...and some of the dogs. Normal people would stick the dogs in the back. The kids up front, in a seatbelt. But none of us, are normal. And it was the 80s.

Us kiddos, got in the back. Sitting in the trunk. Looking out the Back window. The dogs, in the front. And we kept chanting, "Cindy's dip, Cindy's dip." My Nanie took off speeding, and there was a State Policeman on the other side.

After we flew through the dip, those red lights came on. We were scared to death in the back. My Nanie, not a bit. She chatted up the officer. And he gave her a verbal warning. And as he was walking away, he told her..."Next time, you might want to put the children up front."

She started back on the road. Laughing. And asked us, if we wanted to do it again tomorrow. That was her kind of thing! And we we're all ready for it. I think all of us women, in our family, have that same little spark!

My Nanie, without me realizing it, instilled a great sense of religion in me. I love to praise my Lord. Reading the bible, brings me such peace. And going to church, is not punishment...it's a blessing.

I can remember tons of church experiences. But more than that, there are the spiritual moments. My Nanie teaching me prayers, as we were laying in bed. Showing me how to be close to Jesus. Turning to him, in a our darkest days. And praising him, in our most glorious triumphs. 

In the dark days, after losing my Daddy...she was my light. Not many people, quite understand that loss. The complete emptiness, that was left inside. But she would hold my hand. She guided me in prayer. And held me, like I was a newborn baby...as I cried. 

She was the ONLY person, that I would completely let go...around. Even in my 30s, she was my rock. The way, I allowed her to grieve my Tatie. She allowed me, to grieve my Daddy.

My beckon of light. My strength. My rock. She allowed me to be weak. To let those emotions flow. To be that person, that I needed to be. She guided me. Prayed for me. And more importantly, prayed with me. 

When I talk about my Nanie, I just can't help but think...I was so lucky! She made me such a strong woman. She was my beckon in life. And will now be my Angel. My Nanie was one of a kind. Literally!

I can't help but remember her stories. Especially when it comes to her baptizing me. There was no waiting for the real thing. She took me to the creek. I was born on the first day of Spring. So you can just imagine how cold that water was. I was weeks old!

And all on her own... she baptized me. "In the name of the Father...dunk. And the Son...dunk. And the Holy Spirit...dunk again." From what I hear, I was screaming my lungs out. She was happy as pie!

That was only one, of who knows how many things, that she did to me...that was a little out of the norm. I also remember quite well slicing my knee...wide open. Straight across, on an old door. From one side, to the next. Deep. You could see the meat...quite possibly the bone.

My Nanie had this green liquid she used to make. And she took me outside on the porch. Gave me a washcloth to bite on. And poured about a gallon of that stuff, on the open knee. I literally thought, I could die!

She got me to lay on a chair. And went inside. To boil eggs. When she came back outside, I about jumped off the deck. She was heading towards me, with another gallon of that green stuff. She poured it again. And then carefully peeled those eggs.

For the next few days, I laid with my leg straight. I'd have my knee cleaned. And my Nanie would hold the skin together. Then she'd place the skin from the egg, on my wound. Changing the egg skin, as it would dry.

To this day, I don't know how it didn't get infected. Clearly, if it happened today, I'd be in a hospital. Getting all kinds of stitches. But it healed beautifully. If you look real close, you can see a small scar. Maybe 1/4 inch long. Since, every single time I've needed medical advice, I'd call my Nanie.

My Nanie overcame so much in her lifetime. So much! Much more, than anyone I know. Medical issues, hardships, addictions, loss, having 9 children at home! I mean, she is the bomb...when it comes to women. No one that I know, is that strong. 

My Nanie didn't have a lot of Worldly Riches. But her spirit, was made of absolute gold! Always giving. Never expecting anything in return. Never holding her hand out. But always handing out, whatever she could.

Some of my fondest memories include, taking people food. We'd cook all day. Load up our wagon. And make 5 or 6 trips, delivering food, all over Bluewater. Just because. No particular rhyme or reason. Just because it was what she wanted to do. Stacks and stacks of homemade tortillas, pressure cookers of beans, pots of chili.

There was absolutely nothing in the world, she wouldn't do for her family. Her kids were like precious pearls to her. And her grandchildren, we were her gold. We never wanted for anything. Not for food, for fun, or for love.

Our Grandma, was first in line for fun. She made us costumes, and dressed us up. We fished and camped. Went on adventures. Had story time. We played in the snow...

Oh and how we had fun, flying down that hill! Once, my parents went to Arizona. And it seemed like we had the blizzard of the decade. I stayed back, with my grandparents. The next day, my Nanie wanted to go sledding. We didn't have a sled. But she had an idea...

I never knew, how she took Tatie's hood off of his truck. But she came in the house. And told me to hurry. As I was trying to get my snow boots on, she was collecting my jacket, gloves, and hat. When we went outside, she had a rope tied to the hood.

And there we went. Popcorn the dog, was helping us pull it up the hill. When we got to the top, Nanie put me in the middle. Then she sat behind me. Popcorn jumped on in front. And we were off!!!

Flying down the hill. We had no real way to steer. I think I was 5 or 6. God knows, how we didn't crash. Or die! But it was so much fun! We spent hours, dragging that hood up the hill, and flying down. The dog only went down once with us. He probably thought we were nuts!

We did this for hours. And for hours, we had the best time! As we'd fly down the hill, Popcorn would chase us. It probably took us, 20+ minutes to get up the hill. And about 20 seconds to get down. Every single time, we'd crash on the turn. And we'd laugh so dang hard!

Sitting here, I'm crying. And laughing. Thinking how much fun we had. All the special memories we made that day. That it didn't matter that we were snowed in. And didn't have a sled. Nanie found a way, to make it fun.

When we were done, we drug the hood back to the yard. And I saw that look from Tatie. Accompanied with "Vieja!" I still don't know, how they got that hood back on the truck. But Nanie...Thank You. That could easily be, the BEST DAY of my life!

It's so hard, to know that she will no longer be here. On Earth with us. To spit on us. It was her way to bless us. Or to give us her knowledge and wisdom. Who am I going to call, when I need to know how to cure something?

And the way she talked. My Mom and I were talking a little bit ago. About the silly things Nanie would say. Like telling us, she needed some aggrevated yarn. Instead of variegated. How she always let me know, that she had dermentia...instead of dementia. 

Even in the sunset of her life, there were lessons to be learned. Like when I took her, her blanket. She asked for me to crochet her a Steelers blanket. Not too big. To cover her up. When I took it to her..."Desi how much do I owe you? Make me a receipt. And I'll send you a check." I told her she didn't owe me anything. "Since when did Walmart start giving away yarn? And when did your time not matter?" I know Nanie...but it's my gift for you. She was still mad, that I wouldn't let her pay me.

I'm going to miss this lady. More than I can say. The silliness that would come out of that mouth. How she asked me, if it would be OK, to find me a new Grandpa. Who am I going to buy light up necklaces for. And crosses. Every single time I took her one, she needed another!

I'm going to miss, how she'd spit on me. To bless me. Or ask me about my boots. I'm definitely going to miss, how she'd use her lipstick as blush. And would ask me, to buy her 5 tubes. Because only I knew, her favorite shade of red.

Most of all, I'm going to miss her hugs. And her kisses. And those reassuring pats. When she'd steal my dog, to tell everyone that she was hers. And how she was never too afraid to let me know, I'd gained too many pounds. 

The memories in my heart, are many. And great. Many more, than I could post here. The love, knowledge, lessons, wisdom, and jokes...are here too. In the coming days, I know we will all struggle. And those are the things, I will hang onto.

There is nothing more magically, than a strong Matriarch. Someone that loves her family, keeps us in line, and pushes us to do better. She has raised up, a Gang of Strong Women. One that will keep on pushing forward. And we all, owe it to Nanie! I love you so much! Until we meet again! My Angel, My Nanie, My Hero!

XOXO, 

Desiree