This past week, has had so many ups and downs. All over the place. Honestly, the entire month of March feels like a roller coaster. My friends and I, share so many amazing things. Things to celebrate. So many birthdays. In fact, between March 15th-31st...we have a birthday to celebrate. Every. Single. Day!
But then, there are the tough days. In our family, we've lost so many people...in March. So many of those heartbreaking anniversaries. Just when you want to celebrate, you realize there is a sadness in the air. Something hoovering over your celebrations.
For me, finding that balance is tough. I'm not sure, should I celebrate my birthday? Or respect my Dad's passing. Should I go out to dinner with friends? Or stay home, because my Nanie just past away. Do I laugh? Or do I cry?
And then when I least expect it, Cowboy J comes to my rescue. My forever green eyed cowboy. With all his manners, strong arms, and soft chest to cry into. Yes, that is my friend. And on my birthday, he surprised me.
I went to do some work at 4AM. At 5AM, he and our precious Goddaughter joined me. I thought they were 300 miles away. Nope, they stayed in town. To come have breakfast with me. My Goddaughter and I, share the same birthday.
All I could do, was apologize. They'd been in town for about a week. With a bunch of our friends. For a Rodeo. And I never made time to meet with them. Not for dinner at my favorite restaurant. Or to just hangout. Not for the Rodeo. That my Goddaughter got to be a part of. Not for a quick snack. Or the day at the Zoo. Not for the night out dancing. Or the quick trip to the mall.
Because I was somewhere between grief and celebrations. One minute, consumed with grief and guilt. The next crying and trying to finish up some work. And what did my friend do? Stayed an extra day. So I could see my favorite 8 year old! And share a Birthday Smoothie.
Cowboy J, also reassured me, that I was doing just fine. That all my self doubts...were just that. A self thing. Not something that others' see. Just me. That it's OK to grieve. To take time for me. "Darlin' just love yourself."
Gosh, this man just gets it. And gets me. And I swear to you, I want to be his BFF when we are old and grey. I want to be able to FaceTime him, when I'm 80 years old. Just to say Hi! And to see what kind of silly crap, he has on his phone!
You see, I'm in my mid 30s. And I'm second guessing everything. All my decisions. Things that I've done. And things that I figured, there would be time for later. Um, later...
I always assumed, by this age...I'd have it all together. I'd have a husband, about a dozen kids, a life plan. Reality is, all of that went on the back burner. My Dad insisted I needed an education. And a real career. I figured there was time for that. After school. Then he got sick. He passed. My Mom got sick. And here I am. In a state of limbo.
But something about that early morning convo, with Cowboy J...got me thinking. I'm worth it. I need to love me. Just for being me. I need to make a commitment to me. The rest will come. Or maybe it won't. But I need to love myself.
In all honesty, I've been thinking about this for a while. I started #SelfCareSundays. At the beginning of 2018. If you follow me on Insta, then you've probably noticed. I try and set aside a couple of hours. Just for me! On Sunday Nights.
Nothing major. Just some R&R time. After my Mom goes to bed. I make time for a long bath, a face mask, and some nail polish. But it's time for me. Maybe a good book. Or my favorite YouTubers, are part of my evening.
More than anything, it's about making time for me. Without having the responsibilities of everyone else. I don't have to worry about cooking, laundry, if my Mom has taken her medication, if the dogs need to go outside, or work. It's just for me. Two hours to breathe deeply, relax, and take care of myself.
And you know what? It makes me a better person. On Mondays, I feel more productive. I'm not so tired. Or grouchy. I'm happier...which probably makes me kinder.
I hadn't thought about this, until now. But for years, I've been doing for everyone else. In a space, that isn't mine. Because my parents needed me. And I've lost a bit of myself. I've lost who I am. I've forgotten about my needs...
This also means, accepting me. For me. Not for what people think I am. I'm not obligated to anyone. I shouldn't worry or even care, what other people think. I should just be happy with me. Because God made me beautiful, and one of a kind. I need to start treating myself this way.
I was also thinking about the next few months. And the goals I have for myself. Last year, we helped a friend quite a bit. In the end, my Mom and I did it, because we wanted to. Looking back, we did a lot for someone that didn't really appreciate it. Or take into account, what it meant or cost us.
I've been wanting to get a part time job. Not ready for that "120 Hours a Week," grind. And while I do my fair share of consults, video conferencing, and teaching...I just need an easy job.
I also need to take care of my Mom. So something close to where we live. Something easy and flexible. Something I get paid for. Because all of this, driving around town for no cash business...well it doesn't pay the bills. And I'd appreciate a little more peace in my life.
I've also been wanting to take my Mom on a trip. And get back to really regular blogging and vlogging. But that all cost money. And takes time. Money and time, that I need to value more. For me, and not other people. I need to make a point, to focus on my goals. I need to start putting my needs, above others. It doesn't sound like much. But really, something like a weekend trip...can really make you feel better. Or to focus on a goal for yourself...it can bring such life to your soul.
I also kind of regret...not having a birthday party for myself. Just another way, that I don't put myself first. I had gone and contacted all of my favorite Etsy sellers. For decorations. I'd planned a menu. Done all of that. Then decided against it. Because I figured who would come? I didn't lose out on the Etsy stuff or decor...I'll be using it for a Tea Party we're planning in August. But boo! I think that would have been fun.
I'm guilty of this. For myself. Over the last 3 or so years, I've slowly cut people out of my life. People that just brought me down. That had more drama, than love. People that I couldn't trust. Whose value, actions, and morals...didn't line up with my own.
But then, I treat myself, like a second class citizen. I don't take care of myself. Don't eat well. Or take time to exercise daily. Or just be kind to myself. I need to do that. I need to set goals for myself. And really chase after them. Not be content in just "being."
I also need to continue to cut people out of my life. Who don't bring joy to mine. Yes, I enjoy helping people. But not getting, taken advantage of. Does that make sense? And I feel like, in the last year, I've let that happen. I've let other people and their goals...take over my life.
And more than anything, I have to be grateful to myself. And happy with the decisions I've made. My life might not be anywhere that I had once anticipated. But it is still pretty wonderful.
I'm so blessed! With friends and family that love me. I enjoy our Family Girls' Nights. Even if we just sit around talking and eating. I LOVE my friends. With everything I got. I'm beyond blessed, with Goddaughters. Whose love, comforts me on my worst days.
And most of all. I have no regrets. When it comes to my parents. I've been so honored, lucky, and blessed to care for them. During my Dad's last years...it was such a blessing. To spend the time with him. Make the memories. Just hang out. And now with my Mom, we've gotten so close. Something we weren't...before my Dad's passing.
I'm a beautiful woman. Inside and out. Even if I don't always think I am. I am. I need to believe that. God made me unique. And that makes me special. My experiences are my own. Unique as they are. So our my life decisions.
But these things, have made me the woman that I am. Strong. Able to stand on my own. In the darkest of times, I know I am strong enough. And in the best of times, I know I have much love to give. I just need to love myself.
Happy Friday! I guess this post would be better titled, "Celebrations." It was a busy week. That I'm still not sure, how it past so quickly! With good and bad. But isn't that what life is all about?
Like I said, this week was full. We had 2 birthday parties, my Dad's Anniversary, we lost a dear friend, had his services, and someone may or may not have had a birthday! Let's get started...
1. Homemade Gifts. So on Friday, last week, I decided I wanted to make a present. For one of the Birthday Parties we went to, over the weekend. Honestly, had I known about the second party...I would have made 2!
My little buddy, Kaleb, spent the entire 2017 Growers' Market Season, talking about this mat. He wanted one. So bad!!! During the season, I was lucky to keep one in stock at all times. But I knew exactly what I wanted to make him.
So on Friday after doing some work, I stopped and bought him some cars. And some other fun things. I had taken my Mom shopping already. I think we went on Thursday. And she had picked up a gift. I on the other hand, like to wait until the last minute. So I sat down and got to work. The little bag, was a last minute addition. I decided to stick the cars inside. I think it will be a new addition to the shop.
I like this little bag, because I tend to have a hard time, keeping the cars together. It's just a small drawstring bag. Took all of 20 minutes to figure out, and make. And I fit 3 Matchbox cars, and a little Monster truck inside.
The reason I want to add them to our sales items is, lots of kiddos try walking away with the cars. Or have a total meltdown, because I don't sell the cars. By themselves. So I think the bags will be a good thing. Anyway, this mat was so fun. And super quick to whip up. Kaleb loved it. He even took the time to see what was inside the pouch. I think it was a success!
2. St. Patty's Day Treats. Every Friday during Lent, the Knights of Columbus at our Church, host a Fish Fry. And we try to go to them all. They make some delicious fish. And it's always a fun evening.
Although the guys are good cooks, they are not bakers. And rarely think of sweet treats. Many times, they have odds and ends, that may have been left over. From a funeral reception, earlier in the day. Or they have packaged cookies. So for the last 3 years, I've tried to make some sort of dessert. Every time we go.
Usually I bake. But our oven died in December. And we've been putting off, buying a new stove. We've had the oven worked on twice, in about 10 years. And honestly, I just think it's time for a new stove. But I'm waiting for the stores to have a sale. Because we could also use a new washer and dryer. You know, buy more...save more!
So I can't bake. I've been focusing on other types of treats. On this day, I made Rainbow Fudge. And Lucky Charms Treats. Because St. Patrick's Day was on Saturday, it seemed appropriate. :)
I've made a few versions of fudge lately. And everyone LOVES it! To me, it's a little too sweet. But this was so easy to make. 3 ingredients. And those Lucky Charms treats were fun too. Probably more so, because of the Special Edition version, of the Lucky Charms. They were all green!
3. Sky On Fire. When we were leaving the church on Friday, we stopped to talk to a friend. And the sky was so beautiful! This picture doesn't do it justice. I wish I had been faster, and taken a picture of the red sky around the church. It was so pretty.
4. Saturday Shopping. We don't go shopping much. It completely tires my Momma out. I HATE cancer. Like nobody's business. But once in a while, my Momma has an urge to go shopping.
We got a sale last week. From JoAnn's. It had some really good deals. And since we were headed in that direction for a Birthday Party, she asked to go shopping. Sure. We left the house around noon. Our party was at 3:30PM. Plenty of time!
Well, we spend about 90 minutes at JoAnn's. My Mom stocked up, on some sewing essentials. She's been sewing a lot! I browsed the store. Picked up some yarn. And darn, I wish I had gotten a few more skeins! Anyone going to be around the westside JoAnn's?
Anyway, we headed to Hobby Lobby after that. She needed some crochet thread. And we had about an hour and a half to kill. Hobby Lobby is about 5 minutes from JoAnn's. And Peter Piper's in about 2 minutes from Hobby Lobby.
We honestly had 2 things on our list. But completely flipped over all the stuff! We hadn't been to Hobby Lobby in a while. They are all, so far from us. I died when I saw this sign. And totally regret not picking it up!!! I have ALWAYS loved flamingos. The quote is also spot on. Anyone still want to get me a birthday present?
Anyway, we had no real plans, for a big shopping adventure. But before you knew it, we were buying 7 teapots/pitchers. We had thread, wooden crates, and doll eyes. My Momma bought me the teapots/pitchers for my birthday. They were all 50-60% off. We are planning a Tea Party Fundraiser in the Summer. So these will be great! The crates were 90% off. We could use them for the Growers' Markets. Honestly, I think none of them were over $2. I know 3 were under $1!
But it was a nice adventure. We actually left Hobby Lobby a little later, than we had expected. As in, we spent 2 hours in there! With way more stuff than we thought. We bought a cart full. And walked out carry a few things. While pushing a cart. So it was surprising when we only spent $60. Score!
5. Kaleb's Birthday. We were about 30 minutes late to Kaleb's Birthday party. But just in time, for food. Literally, we got there, sat down, and the food was served! It was a lot of fun. I always enjoy hanging out with our friends. And it had been a while, since we had seen them.
Peter Piper's was CRAZY!!! As always on a weekend. There were a bunch of parties going on, lots of noise, and tons of food! But it really was a fun afternoon/evening. And a much welcomed distraction. Because we had gotten some bad news earlier.
But just look at that smile! How could this kid, not melt your heart? I miss seeing these people. During the GM Season, we'd see them 2 or 4 times a week. Ugh! When is the season going to start?
6. Easter Decorations. Sunday was cold and ugly. My Momma was tired from our adventures, on Saturday. And we got real lazy. After Church and breakfast, my Mom went to rest. I think she took a nap, and played games on her tablet. I didn't see her for about 4 hours...
I was bored. Cold. And itching to change our decorations. When I went to look for our box of Easter decor, I found this Tea Set. I bought it for my Mom...probably 6+ years ago. No lie! We'd gone to have breakfast at Cracker Barrel for Easter? I'm not sure the day. But she saw it.
My Mom loved the Tea Set. But didn't want it. Supposedly. Then we had gone home, and she kept talking about it. By the middle of the week, my Dad and I had gone looking for it. With no luck! About a month later, I was traveling for work. And found this beauty!
I immediately bought it. And wrapped it up. It was my Momma's birthday present that year. She LOVED it! And had a million plans for it. "I'm going to put it up, every Easter." We'd never opened the box!
So as I was changing out green and shamrocks for lambs, bunnies, and crosses...I pulled this out. And set it up, on our dining room table. It is so precious! And honestly, isn't too Easter-y. As in, we can keep it up all Spring! When my Mom saw it, she literally squealed! I think it was a success!
7. Joey's Birthday Party. So on Saturday, when I was in the shower, my Mom got to talking to our neighbors. And they invited us, to their grandson's birthday party. Joey and Kaylie's parties are my favorite! The company is always fun. The food is always amazing! It's just a good time.
So Sunday afternoon we headed out. I really wish I would have had time, to make him a car mat. Boy is into his cars! Look how excited he is, to be turning 5. And because of all those presents. I don't know who was more excited about that big box...me or him! :) By the way, it was a HUGE Hot Wheels Track.
He is so much fun too! And super cute. When he found out it was my birthday later in the week, he came over with a present for me. Because I had gone to his party. Seriously, isn't that the cutest! PS...I LOVED all the bath products that my neighbors so generously gifted me.
8. Zebras. So from the party, we were supposed to meet some friends. At a local brewery. For a little Battle of the Bands. Not sure what happened. None of our friends showed up. And because the weather was so cold and windy...the show was cancelled. Boo!
Which was probably a good thing. My Mom was cold, tired, and in pain. We headed home...and straight for our PJs. But not before a quick and windy selfie. :)
This shirt is one of my favs! I bought it in November? At wait for it...Walmart! For like $12. I was actually looking for some jeggings/skinny jeans. Because I'm losing weight. Not intentionally...but I'll take it. And because I wasn't sure if it was permanent thing or not, I didn't want to spend a lot of money on jeans. My friend had also been praising these skinny jeans.
So while looking around, I found this top. And 2 others. A navy with flowers. And a white stop, with tiny red lips, and black polka dots. They are so comfy! So are the jeans. Which were under $8.
All day on Sunday, I had to laugh. Everyone loved my shirt. And called the zebras everything under the sun, except zebras. It is such a fun shirt. Without being so "In your face, animal print."
9. Avocado Clay Mask. By the time 8PM rolled around, my Momma was fast asleep. And I was feeling the need to just relax. If you follow me on Insta than you know all about #SelfCareSunday. The time I try to make for myself, every week. To spoil myself a little.
I LOVE sheet masks. I've used them for the last 20+ years. But this week, I felt like I needed something more. I used to be a daily makeup user. Until about 6 years ago. Lots of things got left behind, when I became a caregiver. But it has actually been really good for my skin.
Over the last 2 or 3 weeks, I've been wearing more and more makeup. We've had a lot funerals and such to attend. So my skin has been needing some TLC. I used this mask on Sunday night. And OMG, it's my new favorite! Well, behind my sheet masks.
It just left my skin feeling so good! Clean and soft. I really enjoyed it. My friends sent me a big box of masks, a while ago. And there are a few clay masks in there. But this one, I definitely will have my eye out for. Like, I want to buy 10!
I'm not 100% sure of the price. I know at the time I was sent the masks, my friend paid $2-3 a mask. And they were bought at Walmart. The last time I was rushing by, on my way to the dog food, I saw a display of these type of masks. The sign said 2 for $8. But I honestly, didn't look to well. I don't even know, if it was these masks. But I'd say, they'd be under $5. I'll let you know, when I find them. :)
10. Homemade Pancakes. So remember how I told you, my Mom was pretty exhausted? Well, she and our dogs...slept until past 11AM Monday. So I decided to make breakfast.
It was so yummy! Homemade banana pancakes. I topped mine with pecans, more bananas, and some local honey. My Mom opted for bananas and maple syrup. She asked me to cook the pecans in hers.
And for those of you, who are wondering about pancakes. They are super easy to make! I get questions all the time. From scratch they are fast and easy. But you can also use a mix. If I use a mix, I'll grab the red box. Ugh! What is it called? Anyway, you add an egg, some milk, and veggie oil. Let the batter set for 5 minutes, and start cooking.
As far as cooking them. Well, I've done it on an electric griddle. Which is my favorite. Especially when cooking for a crowd. But for my Mom and I, I use a nonstick skillet. Put it on a medium heat, add a little butter in the pan. And you can fit 2 pancakes at a time. About 1/4 cup of batter each.
The thing I do, is always add fruit or nuts. I put the batter in the pan, and add some berries, bananas, or nuts while cooking. Yum! Then I add fruit to the top. I don't like syrup. I know. Weirdo here. But many times, I'll add fruit. Once in a while, I'll put some local honey. Oh, and I never add butter. Because I cook them in butter. It takes me about 10 minutes to cook up 10 smallish pancakes. :)
11. Tacos and Rice. So Monday afternoon, while I was getting some work done...my Mom headed to the kitchen. I could hear all this noise. And when I went to investigate, I found her making rice. She also had started making taco meat.
Hello! Yum! This is one of my favorite meals! So I decided to make some guac and fresh salsa. And I got busy cutting up some veggies. It was so delicious! I may or may not have snacked on tacos for lunch...multiple times this week. :)
But I did feel guilty. I'm not the only one in the fam, that LOVES my Momma's tacos and rice. My littlest, big sissy does too. And she's been wanting some, since she returned in January. Darn, she was traveling on this day too. And just came back last night. But these tacos, were long gone...by then. I guess, we'll just have to make some more.
12. Dollar Slippers. These slippers! Here's a quick story. Back in the late Summer/early Fall I took my Mom to eat breakfast. And we made a quick stop at a Dollar Tree. My Mom gets so excited to go to DT. Because she really never goes there. And every single time, she still asks me if things are just $1. Like 20 times, in one visit.
We were looking for some things for my Nanie. Mostly socks and decorations. When we saw these little slippers. More than a sock...but not something you can walk around in outside. I'd never seen them before. And after going through an entire box, I found 5 pairs for my Mom, 1 for my Nanie, and 2 for me. I was so sad. I wanted all the prints, my Mom had. Instead, I ended up with some random stripes.
There honestly, was not much of a selection, for sizes under an 8. My Mom wears a 5! But when I got to the bottom of the box, I found these. I didn't believe my eyes! Well, once we got home the other slippers became my go to. The first pair, completely fell apart.
To be honest, I wore them for months. Did good, and only wore them inside. Until January. Then they got gross. And I decided to throw them in the washer with my PJs. Same sort of fabric. So why not? Well, they fell apart. Insert my very sad face here. The other pair, I've lost them since my Nanie's passing. I wore them one night that we stood with her. And now I can't find them.
Prior to this, I wasn't much of a slipper person. What so ever. You should see some of my socks. They beg me to wear slippers. And I have never seen any of these at DT again. But earlier this week, I was going through some drawers. Tossing out undies and bras...that need to be retired. I found these slippers.
They are so comfy! Probably a size too big. But they do the trick. The inside is super warm. They have the faux sheep skin stuff inside. And a more durable fabric on the outside. With a nice bottom. I'm promising myself, not to ruin them. You know, by walking outside in them. :)
But I hope to find some more. At some point. The DT is all over the place, when it comes to items. It can be year, before you find something you are looking for. Or you may never see it again. Who knows?
13. Chili's Deal. I don't know, about a month ago, I took my Mom out to lunch. I had a giftcard for Outback. And we went for Walk-About-Wednesday. It was a ton of food, for $10. And really yummy!
So my Mom really enjoys Chili's. And she wanted to take me out for my birthday. So we were on the fence, between Chili's and Outback. But when she saw the commercial for Chili's...she was sold!
My Mom wanted a steak. Until we got there. And started looking at the menu. Before I knew it, she was ordering something completely different. I on the other hand, stuck to the steak. I about died, when they brought it out. So much food!
What does $10 get you? A salad, drink, and this entire plate! For $2 more, you can get a larger steak. I ended up bringing some food home. Because, hello! And it was so tasty. The steak was cooked perfectly. And was so tender. Not always the case, when you go out to eat.
I enjoyed spending the afternoon/evening with my Mom. I'm not much of a "Let's celebrate my birthday," kind of gal. But it was nice and low key. Total bonus, we ran into some friends. And got to chat with them, before we left. :)
14. Birthday Ice Cream. So after eating, my Mom had to run to Walmart. Which I was more than happy to do. I NEEDED to walk around. We both ate so much! We went to pick up a few things. Then she wanted to treat me to dessert. Back at Chili's I was too full.
2 hours later, after walking around a bit, we headed to Baskin Robbins. Everything is all in the same shopping area. So it's not like we were all over the city. But because it was my birthday, and they had some other BOGO promo going...we spent $2 for 2 sundaes. Good deal!
And honestly, the perfect sweet treat for me! I like going to this particular BR. Because they ALWAYS have Baseball Nut. My fav! And since I usually make my own cake...it was nice to just enjoy a treat.
15. My Mom and Her Games. So we had some time to kill. And there was free WIFI. When I got back to the table with our ice cream, my Mom had successfully downloaded 3 or 4 new games. To her tablet. Total success. Being that I usually have to sign her into whatever WIFI we are near. She is learning folks!
Anyway, after ice cream time, we were people watching. My favorite thing to do! I was listening to this group of little girls. Who were trying to figure out, the best way to spend their $5. I glanced across the table, and my Mom is all into Candy Crush! 100% new to her! in about 36 hours, she's already to level 20!
She may not look like she is happy. But she really was! And she was all into figuring out her new games. I think we sat there for another 45 minutes. As I answered emails and texts. And she played. :)
16. Pretty Flowers. Yesterday was tough. We said our goodbyes to a good friend of ours. It's crazy, we only knew each other...about 21 months. We met at the Growers' Market. And became fast friends.
He was there, during my Momma's diagnosis. And honestly, was the one and only person, we told for a long time. My Mom and Landis would sit and talk for hours. About their illness. Medications. Doctors. He gave her medicine. And they talked about treatments. When one was having a bad day, the other usually was too. They were a good support for each other. And often times, chatted over a Pepsi.
I also valued our friendship so much! Becoming fast friends. Landis' zest for life. His crazy stories. Funny jokes. And words of wisdom. It's like our Dear Lord just knew, we needed him in our lives. To help us. My Momma with her illness. Myself, with my grief.
We were blessed to become good friends. To be friends with his family. To try and prepare them, for what was ultimately going to happen. It was so hard, to see this man, being taken by cancer. In so many ways, it reminded me, of my Dad's journey...
Yesterday, we celebrated Landis' life. And with all the heartache and heavy emotions...there were so many flowers. Beacons of light. And promise. And hope. It just made me realize, there is beauty in everything.
17. Grief. This week, in may ways has been tough. Saturday we learned of Landis' passing. Tuesday we celebrate 3 years, of my Daddy being in Heaven. Our hearts are still heavy with grief, over my Nanie's passing.
I think about it all. The highs of celebrating birthdays this week. And the lows of grief. What I wouldn't give, for one more moment with my Daddy. To lose your Dad in your early 30s, is beyond difficult. I know he was always trying to prepare me, for that day. When he would no longer, be here with me. As an Earthly Being.
We also respected our dear friend. And gave him, the respect he needed. To spend time with his family. To die with dignity. But I so dearly, wanted to see him again. To just let him know, how important he was to my Mom and I.
And my Nanie. It's still so raw. You walk around, thinking it's going to be OK. In reality, she wasn't HER. For a long while. Illness does that to a person. I miss HER.
I find myself, trying to keep it together. Hold all the emotions in. So much death has happened in March. So many anniversaries. And while I try and fight those tears, and put on a smile...I realize that it's OK. To cry. To be angry. To be sad. I have this love...that I'm just not sure where it is supposed to go.
18. Celebrate. And then, all at once, I remember we need to live. And celebrate. And more forward. It's hard to be so happy. To try and find the sweet spot in life. When all you want to do, is curl up in bed.
But it's the truth, you need to celebrate. You need to go out and about. To help you find your way. And the more you celebrate your life, the more blessings that are brought into your life.
I need to keep reminding myself of this. It's a tough lesson, to teach yourself. But it is a very valuable one.
That's it for this week's Friday Favorites! So many things. Such a roller coaster of a week. I truly, just want a few days to just be. To relax. For life, to not be so complicated. Do you know what I mean?
I think this week, will have lots of that. We have a Girl's Brunch on Sunday. That I'm pretty excited for. We haven't been to a Girl's Event in a while. I think since Christmas? And I have some fun dates lined up this week. With some of my favorite littles. During their Spring Break. Nothing too fancy. Lunch with one, ice cream with another, and maybe a picnic with the third. It should all be fun! Happy Friday!
Hey Guys! That time has come again. You know, where I like to share a little something with you. Today, that will be 35 random facts about myself. So let's get started!
1. Almost Died. Between the time that I was 20 and 21, I nearly died 3 times. First I had a serious car accident...where I totalled out my car. On a highway, at 3AM. And almost went over a cliff. The second time, I had just started working at a local hospital. And there was a shootout in the ER. I was just there on a diet consult. And nearly got shot. Lastly, I had to have emergency surgery. I didn't even tell my parents about that...until nearly 12 years later.
2. Clean PJs. I don't know if this is what most people do. But every night, I have to have a clean pair of PJs. I shower in the morning, so that is not the reason. And even when I'm sick, and stay in bed. I have to get up in and change my PJs. I never wear them 2 days in a row. EVER! When I pack for a trip, I often times...pack more PJs than clothes. Honestly, I wear sweats to bed most of the time. But the same idea train applies.
3. Ranch Life. I'd give anything to live on a large Ranch. Like 200 acres. Rolling hills, animals, fields of crops. I worked on a Ranch for roughly 10 years. And I miss it so! This is totally a #LifeGoal. Buy a Ranch. Move out to the middle of nowhere. Nearest neighbor...miles and miles away!
4. Design School. I know. I spent a hundred years in school. But do you know what? I wanted to be an interior designer. Since I was about 15 years old. I even applied and was accepted to design school, when I was 18 years old. Somewhere along the line, I got side tracked. But I'd love to attend. I really like designing spaces.
When I lived alone, my friends, their family, and other random people would hire me to do just that. Design their spaces. Cowboy J and I, worked on so many projects for him. On his Ranch. I can't even tell you, how many houses I worked on...from demo to finished project.
And then there were smaller jobs. Nurseries, remodels, and redecorating people's living rooms. I miss it! In all honesty, I still do a lot of design on the side. But these days, I draw up plans, do the shopping, and send the plans to my friends. :)
5. Dark Chocolate. I LOVE it! I prefer that bitter flavor, over the sweet stuff. Any day. All day! I try to treat myself, with a small piece daily. Just something to look forward to, before bed.
6. Canning. I use it as therapy. I LOVE to can. Make jelly, jam, sauces, veggies, anything really! And I find it so therapeutic. It's so calming to sit there, and cook. Then line up all your jars. To have all the stations in order. And in the end, have a beautiful product!
7. YouTuber. I think it was 2006. But I'm not positive. I was doing a search, for some project I was working on. And I came across YouTube. I can still, clearly remember that day. I found my first YouTube video. And I was hooked!
I probably watched, for 2 hours. But over a short time, I found myself in the beauty community. Meeting YouTubers from my state...and all over! One day, one of them tagged me in their video. I can't remember what the tag was. Just something fun. So I made a video. Then I told my friend Amanda. Who is a makeup artist/hair stylist.
We started making videos. Together. On my channel. 5 days a week. We'd actually make 2 or 3 weeks worth of content together...in one day. Then upload it, on a schedule. There was Makeup Monday...were she did my makeup. Tuesday Tresses...when she'd do something with my hair. I'd do some sort of chatting video on Wednesdays. Thursdays were her reviews of products. Friday was up in the air to do anything we felt like.
And then, we started vlogging. #LifeChanging We travelled a lot at the time. I was a profession musician...she was my Glam Squad. We traveled at least once a month...sometimes weekly. And we'd take you on our adventures.
It was really good money. 4 figures weekly. Amazing experience, to work with so many companies. Oh, and the fun we had! When I moved home, to take care of my Dad...we gave it up. And you know what, I miss it! I've started to slowly get back into it. But it is different now. The YouTube community has changed so much! Lots of our good friends, no longer make content. And I don't have Amanda near, so we can make videos together...
8. Spain. I'd give anything to live in Spain. Not just visit there. But live there. It is beautiful! How do I know? My friend goes to work there, a few months a year. And he is always sending me amazing pictures and videos. #LifeGoal
9. Author. It's one of those things, that I've ALWAYS thought about! Truth of the matter is, I used to do some writing. I wrote for a newspaper. In a weekly type of thing. When I was traveling a lot, a big city newspaper also asked me to write a quarterly kind of article. About their amazing city.
And then, I got into writing FanFic. Which was a lot of fun. That was more, of something just for me. But the way the site I was on worked, was after a certain amount of hits...you'd get paid. For people reading your work. That was a fun side job.
It wasn't until my Dad's passing, that I really wanted to write a book. It's different than writing a blog. I wanted to write about our story. Or maybe a motivational book for caregivers. And because I LOVE to cook...a cookbook would be a fun thing. I've helped write a few...in my nutrition days. But I'd like to write one, all about my favorite recipes. :)
10. ID. As in the channel. I'm obsessed! So when my SIL started to work on one of their shows...I about died! I seriously could watch it all day long! And never get bored. My Mom used to think I was nuts. Now, she is slowly getting sucked in.
I don't know what it is. I just like watching those kinds of shows. I imagine all the ways, someone could kill me. Is that weird? It just keeps me on my toes.
One of the last things I do at night, is watch an episode of something on ID. It's not really a new thing for me. Because I've been obsessed with shows like Dateline forever!
11. Tapas. I was introduced to really good tapas in my early 20s. I've never really looked back. When I lived alone, I'd host Tapas Parties at my home. There was also this restaurant that I used to LOVE to go to. Best Tapas outside of Spain! But since living back in Albuquerque, I'm in search. For a great Tapas place. From time to time, I make Tapas at home. But I'd love to go eat them somewhere. If you know of a good place, please let me know. :)
12. Alcohol. I know this must be crazy. But I've never drank alcohol. Unless you count the wine at Church. Which only happened when I made my First Holy Communion and my Confirmation. Or if they happen to dip the bread, into the wine. It has zero appeal to me. None what so ever! But I do LOVE, to smell the brew rooms at the various Breweries. :)
13. Noodles. This may sound nuts. But I LOVE to eat Ramen Noodles. Maybe it's because, during high school, it was my go-to lunch. I'd buy a Cup of Noodles, and a buttered bread. Almost every single day. Yum! It just tasted so much better then.
When I was in college...I lived off of Ramen. I'd eat the package stuff most of the time. The Cup of Noodles was like a treat. No lie! But I think everyone that has gone to college...gets on the Ramen Train.
These days, I just like the noodles. I buy the packages often. But I always make some sort of stir fry. Then I just cook up the noodles. I never use that packet of "seasoning." Just plain noodles. There is something about those noodles!
14. Dating. Ugh! Is it just me? I HATE dating. Just the thought of it, makes me uncomfortable. I think it could be my personality. But I don't enjoy it. It just feels so awkward. All. The. TIME!
15. Dirty Dancing. You know the soundtrack? I blast it, every single time I clean. I've done it, since I was 18. I can't even tell you, how many CDs, I've gone through. I love it! The music just puts me in a good mood.
16. Mariachi. When I workout, I ALWAYS listen to mariachi music. ALWAYS! I think it's because my vocal coach, used to make me run...while doing vocal lessons. Ask Sancho what they put us through. But it was all, to strengthen our voices. :)
17. Eyeliner. I can't stand it! On myself. I HATE the feeling, when it is applied. I don't ever, put it on myself. When my makeup is being done by someone else, you might as well cut my eye out. That feeling! And I'm not a fan, of the way it looks on me either.
18. Pivotal People. Have you ever heard of pivotal people? 6 out of my 10...are now Angels. How in the world, did that happen? That actually, makes me really sad.
19. Hanging Out. On most days, I hangout with people whose average age is 75...or 4. No lie! And honestly, I enjoy it. A LOT! The littles, show me how to enjoy life. To see the glass, as half full. The more mature peeps...keep it real. Show me, what is important in life. Teach me valuable lessons.
20. Hooters and Hot Wings. Did you know, I worked at Hooters? For about 2 1/2 years. It was not something that I would broadcast. I wasn't happy about the place...but it was something I had to do. I lived in a small college town. And needed a job.
I started out as a hostess. And it was decent money. Not too bad, to work. About 3 months in, one night we were short handed. And I started serving. I think I had to be the world's worst server. EVER! I HATED the uniform. But could easily bring home a 4 figure paycheck...weekly! Thank You Hooters...for helping me pay for school!
During that time, I never ate hot wings. They still aren't my favorite thing to eat. So when people would ask me questions about wings and beer...I was pretty useless. I had no idea...
21. Blogging. In some capacity, I've had a blog for over 20 years. I started blogging when I was still in school. As my life has changed, so have my reasons for blogging. And the content I blog about. When a certain chapter of life, has closed, I leave that blog. And start fresh. I guess if you tried to dig real deep...you might find them.
Really...you wouldn't. After I've closed a chapter in my life...I leave my blog up for a few months. Then I put it to private. I like to go back and read them, from time to time. But I don't like to leave them live.
Sort of like, my old YouTube channel. I just feel like that needs to be closed. I need a fresh start. But don't worry. LMG is where my life is. Right now. And for a long time, in the future. And if I ever decide to move, I'll let you know!
22. Nature. I just love being out and about in nature. I attribute a lot of that, to my Grandparents. They moved to the mountains when I was about 4 years old. And I'd spend so much time with them! School breaks, when my parents travelled, and months in the Summer.
Nothing makes me happier, than fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, and just exploring nature. I have so many great memories, of being in the mountains. I worked at a local Music Camp, for years. That was so much fun!
To me, there is nothing like sleeping under the stars. Literally in a sleeping bag, under the stars. Or waking up, and cooking breakfast on an open campfire. None of this camper business. I want to really rough it!
23. Belle. When I was in my early 20s, I found myself auditioning for Belle. My friends were working at Walt Disney World. They were musicians. I had gone to visit, and help teach at a music conference. They set me up, on an audition.
Really, it went something like this. I LOVE Beauty and the Beast. So much so, when it first came out...I would drag my parents to Pizza Hut weekly. To collect the puzzles and toys they gave out. With the kids' meals. I even had a Beauty and the Beast bedroom.
So while teaching, a friend recorded me singing. I was just goofing around. When we were walking to lunch, we saw the auditions. And he, with about 20 other friends, dared me to audition. I was so glad, when I saw that they were closed auditions. As in, you had to pre-qualify to be in this group.
My friends, never would take that as an answer. So they waited. While I went to lunch. About 20 minutes later, they show up. With 2 Disney people. And ask me to sing. You see, they had showed them that little video. Back then, it wasn't on a phone. It was literally some sort of video camera.
Long story short, right there, in the middle of the cafeteria like place we were in...I auditioned. They called me back, at the end of the day...for another audition. And I got one of the Belle parts. To sing in WDW. What the heck? I had to break it to them, that I was in college. Across the country. And couldn't take the job. I still sort of regret that...
24. Avocados. I think I could live off of them. No lie! I've been eating avocado toast, long before it was a thing. Again, we can blame it on my Grandparents. My Tatie LOVED French bread. And avocados. I remember when he'd toast me some French Bread, on the wood stove. Then we'd share an avocado. I'd spread mine on the toast. This was all, before breakfast. Yum! That stuff was so good.
But I've been known, to eat plain avocados. Cut those babies in half, and let me dig in. Guac is always a good option. Anything really. When I started to recipe test for work, I'd figure out, all sorts of ways to add in avocado.
They really, just are delicious. For about 6 years, I tried to find a way to buy an avocado tree. Because if you grow one from a seed, it won't produce avocados. You need to purchase one. From California. Apparently. Because every nursery I went to, told me the same thing. If you're in California...can we make a deal? I still want a tree!
25. Blood Oranges. I don't even remember the first time I had blood oranges. But I do know something. I LOVE them! I count down, every year, for January. To get my blood oranges. They were once, really hard to come by. As in, only in the larger cities, by order, or some sort of miracle.
One of my really good friends knew this. And those suckers were expensive. So he'd ship me a case, every January. A late Christmas present of sorts. They were amazing! I never shared. 'Cause seriously, they were so good.
Have you ever tried them? From the outside, they are similar to regular oranges. But when you cut them, the flesh is dark in color. Almost a crimson color. They taste like raspberries are smashed into the orange. Super flavorful. Orange and raspberry. I hear they make good jam, but I just like to eat them plain.
26. Meatloaf. We'll blame my Auntie for this one. I'm always searching for the perfect meatloaf. ALWAYS! She made this amazing meatloaf. Even as a small child, I knew it. The BEST I've ever eaten!
I can remember coming home from kindergarten (she used to take care of me,) and being so excited to find a meatloaf sandwich waiting for me. Cold meatloaf in the morning. Or hot meatloaf for dinner. It was so good! And the tomato sauce on top, so perfect.
I've tried many times, to recreate that goodness. I've eaten meatloaf at many different places. But none compares! None! That doesn't stop me, I still order it, every opportunity that I get. I just wish, that I had been old enough, to learn that recipe. You know, when I was 4 years old...elbow deep in hamburger meat. Helping her make dinner.
27. Cleaning Supplies. I could easily spend an entire day, picking out cleaning supplies. I LOVE to smell it all! When I go to Target, I especially, like to check out the cleaning supplies. I will go through every product. Pick the perfect scents. Look for fun supplies. I may have also, talked the Cleaning Crew at the hospital...into giving me a gallon of the cleaner they use. I LOVE the way it smells!
It is just one of those things. I like the house to smell good. And I feel like, it starts with cleaning supplies. I also like to "Update my Cleaning Kit," about twice a year. I have some buckets from the Dollar Tree. And I have them organized by room. I have one for the bathrooms, one for the kitchen, one for the hard spaces, one for the soft spaces, and one for my bedroom. They hold all the supplies I would need to clean that room.
I like to buy fun bottles at the Dollar Tree, to put cleaning supplies in. Like the different cleaners. I also buy, fun colored clothes, to clean with. It's all really, to keep chores a little fun.
28. Lighting. This might have something to do with the Design Bug. But I HATE overhead lighting. I feels so harsh! I like lamps, candles, softer light. Which is pretty funny. Since I'm a crafter. And need good lighting. You know, to work on projects. But I HATE that harsh lighting. Give me 5 lamps...instead of one big light.
29. Plant Lady. For people who know me personally, they know this. I LOVE plants. When I lived alone, I had a ton!!! Not only did I have an amazing yard. Full of grass, trees, plants, flowers, and a garden. But my home was also full of plants. At the beginning of every month, I'd buy me a new plant.
When I moved, to take care of my Dad, my plants came too. Little by little, my Mom has killed them. I think I only have 5 plants left. That makes me so sad! My Dad used to be the green thumb in our family.
My Mom has a pretty yard, but inside plants are not her forte. Now that the weather is warming up, I'm wanting to go buy some pretty house plants. But now, I have to worry about my Mom the Plant Killer. And what is safe for my pups?
30. Horses. I have this love/hate relationship with horses. I've always been intrigued by them. I can remember being about 5 years old. And going to visit Mr. and Mrs. Sauceda. Mr. Sauceda would take me, to visit his horses. All his grandsons, rode horses. They were rough, tough, and always seemed to be covered in dirt.
I was usually in a ruffled dress of some sort. With matching ruffle socks. And little white dress shoes. I'd climb and he'd hold the horse. I'd get to pet them, sometimes brush them, and always got to feed them something. I felt safe. Probably because this expert horseman, was by my side.
Fast forward to my 18 year old self. Attending an agriculture school. 50% of my closest friends, are cowboys. Like real life ones. Bull riders to be exact. And they wanted me to ride.
For about 10 years...there'd be the same song and dance. "Lola let's go riding." Me staring down this beautiful animal. "Naw. Next time." I was scared to death! They'd jump up, and go galloping down the Ranch.
There was even that time, they thought I could sing on horse back. And they tied a horse to one of those pole things. Not sure what it's called. So the horse could walk in a circle. They stuck me up there. And told me to sing. They wanted me to sing, horse back, across an arena. I about died! Right there. After a failure of a month...we decided I couldn't do it. Rather, I probably threw myself on the ground, crying that I'd die. You know, if I had to ride a horse! But darn, they are beautiful animals!
31. Library. I've always dreamt of a library. The fact that my Dad bought me every single book, I ever wanted...didn't help. I'm not lying! In elementary, all the teachers fought to have me as their student. Because when the book orders came out. Which was monthly. I'd buy every book. Yearly, in the 80s, my Dad probably spent $2000+ on books. I was in every book club, monthly book order, and book by mail program imaginable. And when I got extra money, I'd spend it on books! Seriously, we'd go to the Mall...so I could buy a book!
So I ALWAYS dreamt of a library. When Beauty in Beast came out, I begged for a library. Just like Belle's. My Dad built me a reading nook in my room. And my little girl self, would just dream! Of shelves and shelves of books, comfy chairs to read in, and a cozy fireplace!
When I was 18, I bought a house, and moved 3 hours away. My neighbor, had a real life library. I could see it, when I went for walks. And while I had an office, I wanted a library. I still do. I have a HUGE love of reading. And learning. I still like to sit in Barnes and Noble for hours and hours. I have tablets. But find it so comforting, to sit and read a real book. #LifeGoal
32. The South. I've ALWAYS thought the South was magical. I've always wanted to live there. The first time I visited the South, I was about 11 years old. On a school trip. I'd been obsessed for years. Thanks to my love of reading. And history. And all the old movies I'd watch.
When I was in college, I got to travel so much. And found myself drawn to Georgia. And the Carolinas. Oh, those were some of my favorite trips. The history. The architecture. The food.
I would love to spend some real time there. Like 6 months. Or more! To really learn about Southern Culture. It just seems so magical to me. :)
33. Oh Love! So I'm a bit obsessed with buying underwear, socks, and earrings. Is that funny? There is nothing, like buying underwear. New underwear is a treat. Call me anytime VS is having a sale. And socks, boy oh boy...I love socks! I literally have 2 dresser draws full. And I'm constantly looking for more fun socks. Earrings, they are my soft spot. I don't need them. But I want them all! The dangly ones. The studs. The fun ones. The classic ones. The just because I saw them...ones. I LOVE earrings!
34. By Color. I've talked before, about how I sort my clothes by color. But I also do that with candy. When I eat candy, I sort it first. My Mom HATES when I eat M&Ms. I sit, and sort. Make sure each little bundle, has one of every color. Then I eat the misfits first. Crazy, huh? But I've ALWAYS done this! With Skittles, M&Ms, Starburst...whatever candy.
35. Protein. I have incredibly low iron. I take a daily supplement, have a weekly injection, and make sure to eat protein at every meal. But I still find, at least twice a day, I get the shakes. It's something that I've been dealing with, for at least 15 years.
So I'm always prepared. Because I've had situations, when I've past out. Cold. So I ALWAYS have beef jerky or peanut butter in my purse. When I feel a little shaky, I pull it out. I also have a stash in my car.
It's just become a way of life. Sort of like people with diabetes. There is ALWAYS a nice little stash in my purse. It's what I do. And who I am. #LowIronForLife
* And a bonus...just because!
Pay Someone. I'd pay someone to flip through magazines, books, or the newspaper. So I could sleep. That noise, is so relaxing to me. I used to spend a lot of time at the library. Studying and doing work. I'd fight to stay awake, when someone was doing this. Now that I can't sleep, I'd do anything to find someone to just sit there...and flip through some papers.
That's it folks! Did you learn anything new? I'm off to go enjoy my day. Back to regular content tomorrow. For today, I have plans of cake, hanging out with my Momma, and maybe some shopping. Happy Wednesday!
This has been a tough week. Like I wanted to dig a big 'ol hole...and hide in it. Put a rock on top...and forget that I was even there. But I made it. Somehow. And I'm looking forward to this coming week, to be a bit more relaxing. Not so adventurous. Maybe a bit more peaceful. Let's get started with this week's Friday Favorites....
Excuse the bags under my eyes. I have not been sleeping well. For at least 2 weeks now. But it's March. We're over half over with the month. I still can't believe that! But over on our Love For Blue Instagram page, we're rocking the blue! All month. If you'd like to join in posting your blue pictures, on you favorite social media...please tag them with #LoveForBlue #BlueForBlue and #BlueDays.
In case you are new around here, my Dad battled colon cancer. And sadly, lost his battle...nearly 3 years ago. I still can't believe he is gone. But we have a 3 year old foundation that my Dad started, shortly before his death. It's a way to remember him. And continue his work.
Last week, my Nanie (Grandma) became an angel. On Friday, we celebrated her life...with a viewing. Gosh, I'm going to miss this beautiful lady. All her stories. Her wisdom. And her CRAZY jokes!
After my Nanie's viewing, we had a few errands to run. Before her services the next day. After picking up some last minute things, we stopped for a late dinner. At Panda Express. We always get the Big Plate. And a side of fried rice. My Mom and I share it all! It was yummy. Even if I had to stay clear of the beef. Do you give up meat on Fridays too?
So on Friday afternoon, I started this doll. I had dreamt of it, the night before. Pretty much, in one afternoon, I had all the parts made. And Friday night, I stood up, to finish her. Basically, sew her together. And put on her hair.
Now I've made many dolls. In case you are interested, you can find some of my work on our Craft Blog and on our Instagram page. Anyway, it usually takes awhile. Like I spend a few hours putting on the hair. Making my dolls, turn into fun little people. But this doll was so easy to make! My Nanie always told me, if it was meant to be, it will be.
I couldn't sleep really well on Friday night. So after my Mom went to bed, I finished up this doll. And I kept thinking of my Nanie. I decided to place it in her casket. It just seemed appropriate. Being that she taught me how to crochet. And she always loved the toys I made. So I sent it with her. Along with a note. I just feel, like you should send your loved ones away...with a little something special.
Something I may not have mentioned is...my grandparents wanted their granddaughters to be their pallbearers. What an honor. To get to carry our grandparents to their final resting place.
And while this was not necessarily a favorite thing of mine. It was truly an honor. It's been just over 4 years, since my Tatie (Grandpa) past on. And on Saturday, we laid my sweet Nanie to rest.
The women in our family, are such strong people. We owe it all, to our grandparents. Yes, we all have parents. But our grandparents instilled wise lessons, manners, strength, faith, and so much more...in us. They wanted us to be strong women. And boy, am I happy to be included in this bunch of women! In case you are wondering, my big littlest sis, is the 4th from the left. :)
It's so hard to admit, that we don't see each other much. But on this day, my Mom, her brothers, and sisters got to be close. And they were able to hold on to each other, on a very tough day. And just in case you were wondering about all the red...it was my Nanie's favorite color! We don't usually wear red to funerals.
It's crazy how life continues to move forward. Whether or not, you are ready for it. We got a bag, with a few things we had given my Nanie. And this picture was in it. I can still remember taking this picture. I was in college. And had come home, for this special occasion.
We actually took a large family picture. Which I never got! The photography shop, never gave us our print. What can you do? But each one of my grandparent's kids, with their family, also got to take some pictures. We did one with just us grandkids too. Awesome memories!
But this picture here, I gave it to my Nanie, right after my Tatie died. And with all her moves, she always took it with her. I was getting ready for Church on Sunday morning. I just had to stop and look at it. I can't believe 3 out of the 5 of us, are now angels...
After Church we headed home, for breakfast. Originally, we had been scheduled to sell at Church. For a Craft Sale. But with everything going on, we took the day off. And made it a pretty lazy day.
That included leftovers. My cousins, on the other side of my family, generously did all the cooking for my Nanie's funeral. And they setup and cleaned up the entire reception for us. They are such a blessing. I've always looked at them...as the sisters and brother, that God intended for me. :) Anyone remember the entire family, waiting with me for the bus? That stopped in front of the house.
Anyway, they are amazing cooks! And we ended up taking a bit of food home. So Sunday morning, my Mom fried up a couple of eggs. Because we all know, I can't make a fried egg. And we had the yummiest red enchiladas! So cheesy. Just like I like them!
If you follow me on Insta, then you have probably seen this product. On Sunday night's I've been trying to do a #SelfCareSunday. Basically, I take time for me. I've managed to do this, every Sunday in 2018. Except last week. When we were with my Nanie.
But this has to be my favorite mask. It's a sheet mask. And it's so relaxing to take a long bath. Then lay down, with this on my face. Catching up, with my favorite YouTubers.
In case you are interested, I get these at Walmart. I want to say that they are $2-3 each. It's basically a sheet, about the thickness of a baby wipe. And it is soaked in the most moisturizing liquid. I have a whole basket of masks. That a friend sent me. But this one, is my favorite.
Another disease, that we like to highlight for our foundation is Epilepsy. My Dad had epilepsy, for over 60 years! He was very embarrassed of this disease. Something that he had almost no control over.
Honestly, he did a pretty good job, controlling it. My Dad went to the doctor once a month. Every month of my life. To have his medication levels checked. He took his medication, twice a day. Every single day. Medicine that helped control his seizures.
Since I was little, I learned how to take care of my Dad. He taught me, when I was about 5 years old...how to put the car into neutral. Just in case. I learned real quick, what to do...when my Dad had a seizure. Call my Mom or Grandma. Lay him on his side. Hold his head. And as I got older, I could care for my Dad, by myself.
It was a tough disease. My Dad would joke with me..."It took my teeth. At times, it takes my dignity. But it will never keep me down."
My Dad lived a pretty normal life. He would have an "episode" about once a year. Two seizures in a day. One in the morning. One in the late afternoon/evening. In the last few years of his life...the seizures changed a bit. But it was more due, to his cancer. Than the epilepsy itself.
Every Monday, we wear purple for epilepsy. It was a disease, that my Dad learned how to live with. We, as his family, learned to live with it too. It wasn't a death sentence. You can join us in wearing purple too. Just tag your pics with #LoveForBlue #PurpleMondays #EpilepsyAwareness
I want people to know, you shouldn't be ashamed, if you have seizures. My Dad was lucky. His disease was pretty well managed. He was able to drive. Medication kept him pretty healthy. Life was pretty normal.
But I know, many people have a hard time. Epilepsy and seizures have such a huge range. In our family, we have a few family members...who battle this disease. Every case is different. Every person, has a different treatment. But they all, live a pretty normal life.
Earlier this week, Sweetheart and I had to run to the store real quick. And we picked up a pizza, for dinner. While sitting at a light, I was just so amazed with the sky!
It just amazes me, how life keeps on. With or without you, the sun still rises and sets. The birds chirp. People still buzz around.
And in that moment, I had to just stop. And breathe. How glorious is this earth, that we live on. Some weeks, just feel so tough. And impossible. Then God sends you a message, in a beautiful sunset. To remind you, he's on your side!
Remember how I mentioned, struggling with sleep lately? Well, that lead to me finding a new TV show to watch. The Animal Planet's The Zoo. I got so hooked on Tuesday night, that I watched until 4AM Wednesday morning!
It all started with an episode about a flamingo. Who had to have surgery on it's leg! Flamingos are my favorite! So I watched a handful of episodes. And was thoroughly sad, when I couldn't find another episode to watch.
I just know, my Mom is going to be hooked too! It's a behind-the-scenes view, of the Bronx Zoo. Super interesting. I'll admit it here...I cried when an animal died. I think it would be a great show, for all ages! You get to see how the animals are cared for, trained, and what it takes, to really make the Zoo run.
Like I said, it has been a tough week. With tough relationships. And circumstances. When you really begin, to realize...just how strong you are. How each one of those rocks people throw your way, can be something positive too. This quotes sums all of that up, for me. Turn the negatives, into positives.
Wednesday we had another funeral to go to. What a week! But again, it was a good excuse to spend time with family. It really does make me sad, that it takes this kind of event, to bring us together.
But it allowed my Mom and I, to spend time with family. Family we don't see often. Friends that have turned into family. And it made the weight of all these losses, feel a little more bearable. Nothing like laughter, to make that happen!
But in this picture, post funeral, I really wanted to share my jewelry. I owe my love of Native American jewelry to my Nanie. And while I have some really nice pieces, this set just made me smile. My Mom gave it to me for Christmas. And I just love it!
I almost died, while driving home. I realized one earring was missing. And while I was on a race to make it home...I needed the restroom...my heart stopped. I mean, there were countless places in the cemetery where it could have been. We had been to two cemeteries that day! Or at the reception hall. Who knows where?
When we got home, I found it. In the seat of the car. Thank God! I know this set will be on a regular rotation, in my wardrobe. But I need to get some earring backs, before I wear it again. I don't want to lose an earring.
I've also been trying to decorate for every holiday. We have the decorations. I just have been unmotivated. So for New Year's it was one of those things, I put on my list for 2018.
I'm not back to my normal Holiday Spirit. But I'm trying. This shelf in our living room, I think of it as my area to rotate decor. Sorta like someone's mantel. I did a little decorating earlier this week. Added some lights, a sign, and some gold touches.
I also managed to decorate our dining room table. Change out all the linens. Added our St. Patty's day kitchen towels. The other places I added some green touches, are to a buffet in our living room, our coffee table, and my bathroom counter. Nothing too crazy. Just some green vases, pretty spring flowers, and a couple of gold accessories.
The Easter decor, is waiting. Some lambs, crosses, and fun bunnies. I'll probably change that out, on Sunday. The holidays are all jammed together this year. But I'm trying.
Not long ago, our house would have looked like Hobby Lobby, Hallmark, and Gordman's had all exploded on it. But over the last 2 or 3 years...I just sorta lost that spark. I'm calling this a success.
Lastly, I have this quote. I talked to a friend late last week. A long time, family friend. Really I can almost call her a second mom. And she was helping me, to put things into perspective.
We don't have to pull people along with us. In our lives. We don't need the negativity or the drama. We need to focus on what's important. Who is important. And why all these things are important.
I think when a family suffers a loss, it makes you rethink so much. Relationships. The daily. What you really want in your life. And who you want. You are not obligated, to tug everyone along...on your journey. And sometimes, it's so important to make those breaks.
Just make a quick, clean break. It hurts less. Eventually, if those people were meant to be in your life, they'll find their way back. If not, you'll find new people, to fill that space.
Life is full of unpleasant things, experiences, and people. But you shouldn't sit and focus on that. You should focus on the positive. As much as we want all of our family, in our lives, sometimes it's not what is best for us.
That's it...for this week! It's been a tough one. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining. I look forward to a much calmer week. We have a fun birthday party tomorrow afternoon. And I'm excited for that! For once, the presents are made, bought, and wrapped up!
I'm also excited to do some "Sweet Making," for our Church Family today. I have some St. Patty's day desserts in mind. And I know, our Fish Dinner will be fun! I just love, hanging out at Church! See you next week!
